“A journey is best measured in friends, rather than miles.” – Tim Cahill

Monday morning I awoke to Howard shaking my leg. “Wake up. Let’s make breakfast.” That was the most unwelcome thought I could fathom at that exact moment. I looked up at the clock. 6:14.

“Okay, I’m gett uma ufama um…” I began a sentence which trailed off into murmurs. I then swiftly closed my eyes and proceeded to fall back asleep. Howard’s second attempt to wake me was “I made coffee.” This was a much more welcome proposition. We made breakfast and then he went and woke up the Aussies in a similar fashion.

“Come on, MATES! It’s time to get up.” to which Matt replied, “THAT’S OUR WORD!”

We sat down to breakfast and Howard asked Thompy how his night had gone. “I finished a game of pool with Doyle [Matt], and it was my shout. So I made my way over to the bar, as I got close some old fella waiting there turned around and looked at me funny. I said to him, ‘How ya goin?’
An’ he was like, ‘Good.’
So I said, ‘That’s the way!’
An’ he was like, ‘What?’
An’ I said, ‘That’s the way.’
An’ he said, ‘Beg your pardon?’
‘That’s the way! As in… that’s good that you’re good.’
An’ he goes, ‘… Are you German?'”

After breakfast Howard took the guys down to the Shedd Aquarium. I felt bad for them, knowing that they were just getting in around 1:30am the night before and were probably still hungover. While they were away I decided to go ahead and hack one of the WEP networks I had seen the night before. It only took about 5 minutes to get into and most of that was the time it took to type in commands.

After I got internet access, I took a personal inventory of all of my belongings and began to gather information about where the nearest CTA line was and where I was in relation with the neighborhoods I was familiar with.

Everybody arrived back at the homestead in late afternoon. Once everyone was settled, I informed the Aussies that I had gotten internet access. Thompy responded immediately “Awe, righto Jarvis! Can you get us hooked up?” Jarvis was a nickname they had taken to because they thought that’s what Howard said my name was the first time they heard it.

“Yeah, I’ll hook you up. Maddafagga.” He grabbed his laptop and we got him connected to the neighbor’s wifi. Howard came in the room as we were getting connected.

“See now this is exactly what I wanted to avoid.” He said. We all looked up at him, puzzled. “I don’t want everybody sitting on their computers ignoring one another. This time is about us getting to know each other.”

“No, we’re not. I needed to get internet access for myself though. I’m going to need to get email and directions. I simply can’t be productive without it.” I replied.

“Yeah, and we haven’t been able to contact our friends and family back home in days.” said Thompy. Howard had no choice. We were already connected. He admitted defeat and retreated back into the kitchen.

After dinner that night, the Aussies invited me out to watch Thompy play guitar at an open mic event in a nearby coffee shop. As soon as we got outside I let out a deep sigh.

“Ugh, finally!” I proclaimed. “Small doses. That guy…” This initiated a conversation about how the guys felt about Howard. The consensus was that he was a decent guy but a little overbearing at times. I also found out that they were both Christians but not cultish about it like Howard.

When we arrived at the cafe we sat across from two absolutely gorgeous women. Matt and I sipped coffee and listened to Thompy play. His music was wonderful. I was impressed. So were the ladies apparently because as soon as he sat back down they struck up conversation. Thompy got one of their numbers. They would all hang out the following night.

Tuesday evening the guys went out to party with the girls they met at the cafe. I stayed in with Howard so that he wouldn’t feel like we were just using him. We again got on the subject of politics. This time it was far more civilized. At one point he asked me if I was liberal or conservative, to which I replied “I’m a radical moderate.” This apparently warranted a hug.

Wednesday morning I awoke to a Moody Bible sermon blaring on the radio at 6:30am. After breakfast I got a chance to ask Thompy about his prior evening. “Awe, it was heaps o’ fun.” He relayed. “The one bird whose number I got was talking with me and everything was fine at first but then she just started getting all sorts of weird on me. Just — nothing I could say was right, and she was being just really nasty. We were sitting on one couch and Doyle and the other bird were across the room on the other couch. He and her weren’t exactly hitting it off either so we switched sides. We both ended up hookin’ up with the opposite girls as we started with! Ha!”

Wednesday night we had dinner with Howard. The subject somehow turned to Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages.” I was actually the one who brought it up. We were discussing the psychology of being a gracious receiver of gifts. Matt wasn’t familiar so we caught him up to speed. Between the rest of us we were able to get all five listed: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service and physical touch. Matt replied, “I don’t know what mine is but it’s DEFINITELY NOT TOUCH!” I lost my shit. I was doubled over laughing.

After dinner, we decided to stay out and check out Wrigleyville. I introduced the Aussies to James. We all had a few drinks and got to know one another. My interactions with the Aussies were comparatively tame up until this point. The weekend was coming and I had just facilitated the meeting of the minds between three intelligent and adventurous men. I susptected that things were about to get interesting…